Superbman Faces his Greatest Threat!
Walter Bradington, the wealthy investment banker,
places a call to Lois Lake, telling her that his
daughter, Christina, has been kidnapped. The
kidnappers have demanded $5,000,000 for her
It’s common knowledge that Lois Lake knows Superbman personally, and so Walter asks
Lois to contact the Man of Titanium and ask him to rescue their little girl.
The Bradingtons are not planning to call the police.
For one thing, the kidnappers threatened to kill the 12-
year-old girl if they do.
Also, the Megalopolis Police Department is now much
smaller than it used to be
. . . Since the citizens have demanded
that the police be defunded.
It’s no surprise that the people of
Megalopolis depend on Superbman
now more than ever before.
Using his super hearing and x-ray vision, it doesnt
take long for the Man of Titanium to locate
Superbman is just about to break through a wall to
rescue the girl, when he discovers that he cannot.
Kryptocurrency ~ Superbman Faces his Greatest Threat! ~ page 2 ~ © 2023 Michael Gelman
He uses the door instead. As he enters, Superbman
immediately becomes much weaker.
This can only be one thing - kryptonite!
How could the kidnappers get their hands on the
only thing in the universe that can hurt Superbman?!
The kidnappers have ‘kryptocurrency’ in their pockets.
Coins, minted out of kryptonite, received in payment from
previous kidnappings and other criminal activities.
The kryptocurrency that the kidnappers have on them
temporarily blinds Superbman and keeps him from getting
The kidnappers have also demanded the ransom be paid in kryptocurrency, knowing full
well that it will render Superbman powerless!
It seems the Bradington family has lost their only hope of a
rescue. They have no choice now but to pay the ransom
and hope that the kidnappers keep their word.
Kidnapping is often not very dangerous for the perpetrators. The victim is unarmed and
unaware, and often a child. Until now, the most dangerous part for the kidnapper was
collecting the ransom. By accepting only kryptocurrency, kidnappers can now collect
ransoms with almost no chance of getting caught.
Kryptonite-based currency is a game changer for kidnappers.
Kryptocurrency is completely legal. No one had ever
thought to make it illegal because until recently, kryptonite
did not even exist on earth.
Once it made its debut, kryptocurrency became very
popular and the people of Megalopolis started using it
before lawmakers even figured out what it was.
Kryptocurrency ~ Superbman Faces his Greatest Threat! ~ page 3 ~ © 2023 Michael Gelman
One might ask how kryptonite even exists here on earth. Doesn’t it come from planet
It turns out that an anonymous genius with
questionable scruples realized that many people
in the world wanted to buy and sell contraband,
contract illegal services, and do pretty much
whatever they want, without the risk of running
into Superbman.
To that end, this anonymous person found a
way to synthesize kryptonite in the laboratory.
Next, they minted coins from the kryptonite, creating the aptly named kryptocurrency, a
new type of money. This new money worked just like existing money, but it did something
more. It took power away from Superbman and gave it to criminals. Superbman
cannot fight crime in the presence of kryptonite, and now criminals have the ability to
commit a wide variety of crimes with impunity. Criminals are finally free from Superbman.
As with stocks, futures, and precious metals, the value of kryptocurrency fluctuates, and
that makes it useful as an investment. Megalopolis already had a multitude of investment
opportunities, many of which are arguably more sound than kryptocurrency. Because it is
money, it may be used like any other money, but Megalopolis already had a multitude of
payment methods.
Kryptocurrency differentiates itself from these other financial tools because it protects those
who commit crime. If kryptocurrency were to disappear, the only people who would miss it
would be those who fear Superbman. Other than keeping Superbman at bay,
kryptocurrency offers absolutely nothing new or unique.
Illegal weapons, suppressors, poisons, and drugs, are
now being freely bought and sold online, thanks to a
combination of IP address concealing technology and
untraceable money.
Several contract killings have even been funded using kryptocurrency. Kryptocurrency
ownership does not make someone a criminal, but merely gives them the power to safely
commit a variety of crimes, should they decide to.
Kryptocurrency ~ Superbman Faces his Greatest Threat! ~ page 4 ~ © 2023 Michael Gelman
In an unrelated story, a crime wave has overcome Megalopolis. Ransom related crimes
such as cyber-attacks and kidnappings have increased tremendously. Recently, citizens
were unable to buy gasoline for several days because a pipeline was shut down. Criminals
were able to hold the computer system hostage until a ransom was paid in - you guessed it
- kryptocurrency.
This type of attack has become commonplace. The
computers of many Megalopolis businesses and individuals
have been disabled, and many ransoms paid to criminals.
There have even been kidnappings of people and pets, with
demands of payment in kryptocurrency.
By eliminating the intervention of Superbman, Megalopolis has become a safe haven for
outlaws. Unless something is done, the future of Megalopolis looks bleak.
The production of kryptonite also puts planet Earth at risk
because kryptocurrency is continuously being
manufactured, consuming an estimated 150 terawatt-hours
of electricity annually, most of which still comes from fossil
If kryptocurrency production was a nation, then it would be
the 27
largest consumer of electricity, consuming more
power than any single one of about 191 nations. This at a
time when virtually every scientist in the world is concerned
about carbon dioxide production and its relation to global
warming. Thus, the people of Megalopolis watch as planet
Earth heats up, the glaciers melt, and the oceans rise.
This is not the creation of food, clothing, shelter, medicine, or consumer goods. Just more
Kryptocurrency Pros:
useful as currency
useful as a speculative investment
Kryptocurrency Cons:
endangers the public
diminishes productivity
increases greenhouse gases
Kryptocurrency ~ Superbman Faces his Greatest Threat! ~ page 5 ~ © 2023 Michael Gelman
Im sorry to tell you that Christina’s parents paid the ransom and pleaded with the
kidnappers not to harm their little girl, but they executed her anyway. Too bad that this is
not a comic book.
After a period of mourning, the Bradingtons became outspoken activists against
kryptocurrency. Its a shame that it took something horrible for them to recognize the
What people say really doesn’t matter to Christina or
the Bradington family, but one could argue that
kryptocurrency should be illegal.
One might also say that because it jeopardizes public
safety in general, everyone who ever invested in
kryptocurrency is partly responsible for what
You see, in Megalopolis, anyone caught in possession of child pornography gets charged
with a crime, even if they have not directly contributed to the exploitation of any minor. It is
understood that any use of child pornography contributes to the exploitation all of the
victims in general. Some say the same principle applies.
Of course, kryptocurrency is legal while child pornography is not. Walter Bradington points
out that there was a time when slavery was also legal in Megalopolis.
The people who opposed slavery called themselves
abolitionists, while slave owners called themselves by a
name that has long since been forgotten: democratic.
Walter is quick to point out that just because something is
legal doesn’t make it right.
Fortunately for the people of Megalopolis, there is cash, and also credit and debit cards,
PayPal, Zelle, Apple Pay, Google Pay, Stripe, Venmo, Square,, 2Checkout,
Braintree, Clover, PayJunction, Elavon, KIS Payments, Adyen, Payline, Worldpay from FIS
Global, or Cybersource, plus a multitude of other payment methods.
There are also countless ways to invest money in the hopes of earning a profit.